 |
Introduction to Archibald My favorite fruit is pineapples. You probably didn’t care to know that, but I feel its an important thing to know about someone. I like apples too. But only sometimes. Actually, I don’t believe you can call someone your friend until you know their favorite fruits. It’s a great fallback plan if you get invited to parties last minute and need a quick gift. That happens to me a lot actually. It really does. I am 238 years old. Except not really. I’m actually 34, but I prefer to think of myself in dog years. You just can’t be young with a name like Archibald. My parents didn’t really want a kid when they had me, so they deemed me Archibald and I grew up real fast. Plus I really like dogs. So I felt it appropriate to count my age in a similar manner. I once knew a man in Belgium who crawled around his living room floor and barked at strangers on the street. It was kinda weird, but whatever. Dogs as pets never really worked out for me though. They always run away. Goldfish are much better, ‘cause they’re stuck in a bowl I have one right now, actually, named Archibald Covington the Third and a half. Just like me. Minus the half. He’s a major fan of swimming upside down. It’s a nifty little habit I myself would like to master someday. Maybe the next time the man from Belgium calls I’ll ask him if he can swim upside down. ‘Cept I always forget if ‘yes’ is one bark or two. Oh well, that’s life. Sometimes life’s a little weird. But sometimes life is full of surprises! There was once a man in Hawaii who gave me a banana out of the blue. I was quite surprised. But I don’t like bananas, so I fed it to a bananafish and stole a pineapple off the buffet table. I like pineapples. |
|
| ADS |